


little of your love

by mssassenach



Series: little of your love [1]
Category: Sex Education (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24028648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mssassenach/pseuds/mssassenach
Summary: She tries to recall the last time she ever felt close to happy, or even content. When was the last time she laughed like she meant it? Her mind takes her to that day in the pool, before everything turned upside down and she started dating Jackson.Set after the end of season 2
Relationships: Otis Milburn/Maeve Wiley
Series: little of your love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952584
Comments: 34
Kudos: 126





	1. Forgive Me

**Author's Note:**

> So, here I am again. I was writing an AU story but I just couldn't get this scenario out of my head, of Otis and Maeve talking everything out and then having a pillow talk. I love soft Maeve and the way she allows herself to be vulnerable around Otis. This will have two chapters and the second one will probably have some smut if I can write it lol 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it. Again, English is my second language, so if you see any typos my bad. Also I kept mixing present teste with past tense lol

The night sky looked beautiful tonight, like a beacon of light finishing this horrible day. She wishes she could forget it, forget how angry her mom looked, how lost her sister seemed, how she felt like she was the worst person in the world.

Looking up she feels so tiny, so insignificant compared to those stars up there. How can a world, as beautiful as this one, be so shitty? Among the beauty of those bright spots up there she only knew ugliness, abandonment, despair. She was one in 7 billion people, yet she never felt so alone.

The night breeze feels cool against her face, almost like a caress. It's a nice company to her thoughts, a nice shift from the hours she spent crying her eyes out feeling guilty of what she’s done. At first she thought she needed the company to get through tonight, that’s why she sought Isaac’s company. But as she walks towards the grocery store, there’s only the need to be by herself.

She should be celebrating with her friends right now. For the first time in her life she had accomplished something great in her life and she couldn’t even feel happy about it. Looking up again she thinks ‘insignificant’, it is all insignificant right now.

She tries to recall the last time she ever felt close to happy, or even content. When was the last time she laughed like she meant it? Her mind takes her to that day in the pool, before everything turned upside down and she started dating Jackson. She had liked him, Jackson that is, she really did – even though most of their relationship was based on lies – but he never made her feel carefree like she did that day in the pool. Not like him…

Nope, she was not going to let her mind take her there. She already had so much to think about, she doesn't need another problem to pile up over everything else.

She reaches the door to the grocery store getting slightly blinded by the lights. What did she come here for? Oh, right, milk. She walks through the aisles, mindlessly touching products, picking up things here and there, putting them back down. She is just killing some time, she knows. She is not ready to go back yet and force herself to make conversation with Isaac, she can’t bare the thought of company right now. How funny.

She passes through the orange juice isle and another memory hits her. A pair of shoes gone, a bridge, a jumper and an almost kiss. Would she had gone through with it if he hadn’t blurted out his virginity status to her? _It doesn’t fucking matter, does it?_ She shakes her head and goes straight for the milk.

She pays for the item, reaches the door and walks out. The breeze hits her face again as she takes a deep breath. _It is not about the moon and the stars in deed_ she thinks, it is dumb luck, she just skipped the luck department before she was born. She was bound to go through life without knowing real love; not from her mom or Sean, certainly not from her dad, and not from Otis. For a moment she let herself feel vulnerable enough to hope, hope he would feel the same and that made her brave enough to blurt out her feelings for him, but again love was not on her side.

She reaches the caravan park and wonders if it would be ok to go straight to her own place. But after a moment she realizes it would be a dick move and he doesn’t deserve that. She is going to give him an excuse to leave immediately, though. She doesn’t feel like having an omelette anymore.

His worried face makes her realize she took longer than it should.

“I'm sorry I took so long, I just needed to be alone for a while.”

“It's ok, you brought the milk that’s all that matters.”

“Actually, if you don’t mind I think I’m going to head back. I’m not hungry anymore.”

“Are you ok?” He asks as he approaches her. She sees the worry on his face and something else, too.

“Yeah, I just feel like going back.”

“Are you sure?”

She sees mistrust in him, maybe? Like she’s hiding something from him.

“What is it, Isaac?”

“Did you meet anyone while you were out?”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, I was just wondering if by any chance you took a little longer because you were talking to someone else.”

"What's this about?” The longer it took for him to be out with it, the more she felt frustrated.

“Look, forget it ok, Maeve. Let’s just make some omelettes and chill.”

“I said I’m not hungry anymore. I’m going to head out.” She starts patting her pocket and then starts looking around as she realizes she didn’t take her phone with her. She spots it above the mini fridge and grabs it. As she is walking out of the caravan, she looks back and gives a little wave. “Night.”

Her own caravan looks and feels so empty right now. But that’s what she wanted, right? To be by herself to her own thoughts, to finally have her place back. But somehow it doesn’t feel like her place anymore, not without her sister’s laugh or her mom’s complaints.

She’s getting ready for bed when she hears a knock on her door. Maybe is Isaac trying to convince her again to make that omelette. And she’s ready to tell him off when she sees Otis standing there.

“Hi, Maeve,” He looks uncertain and like the last person she wants to speak right now. “Can I come in?”

“What do you want?”

“I wanted to check on you and see how you were. I thought you would be out celebrating with the rest of the Quiz Heads.”

“I’ve had enough of parties to last me a life time, don’t you think?” The last thing she wanted was to celebrate, to be around happy people that didn’t have a care in the world.

“Yeah, right. I, uh, about that…” He looks around and then looks back at her. “Will you let me come in? Please? I really need to talk to you.”

“I don’t feel like talking right now, Otis. Besides, we don’t have anything to say to each other.”

She starts closing her door but he puts a hand on it. She looks at him, not sure if she wants to pluck his eyes out or kiss him. Nope, definitely not kiss him.

“Look, I’ll be out of your way in five minutes.”

She lets a sigh and walks back in letting the door open for him. When she hears it click closed she turns around and stares at him. “Tik tok,” She crosses her arms and leans against the back of her kitchen cabinet. He just stands there looking back at her without saying anything. “That means the clock in ticking, Milburn. Go on.”

He spurts into action andsits on her sofa. “I didn’t say you could get comfortable.” She’s not comfortable so he doesn’t get to feel like he’s a welcomed visit.

So he stands back up and starts speaking.

* * *

Well, now that he has her attention he doesn’t know where to start. 'I’m sorry’ seems so silly and so little when he feel so much more than that. But he thinks from the beginning will be a good way to start.

He doesn’t want to mess this up, he feels like this will be his only chance to make things right with her again. She said she wasn’t angry anymore, but her disappointment in him felt so much worse. He knew he had to make it up to her for all the things he had done, but also for the things he hadn’t. And they were a lot. Like he wasn’t there for her when her mom got back.

When the thought crosses his mind he looks around frantically, searching for them.

“Where’s your mom and Elsie?”

“None of your business, innit?”

He is shocked by her come back but he knows he deserves it. He was not there for her so he doesn’t get the right to ask or know about them.

“I don’t want to talk about it ok,” She averts her eyes from him and when she looks at the ground he knows is bad. “Maeve.”

“Otis, you either start spilling out what you came here for or you’re out. What’s it going to be?”

She looks at him again, defiantly this time, daring him to walk out the door. Not a chance, Maeve.

“Last term was heaven and hell for me. I went from being this invisible guy in the corner to being the sex kid. It was heaven for me because we started hanging out and as I said before, you saw something in me when no one else did. You made me feel like I could do anything, even give out sex advice to our peeps when I was a virgin myself."

He sees her flinch at the word virgin and decides to continue so to not give her a chance to send him out.

“I saw you as this fearless lioness that takes no prisoners and I felt myself, a little more everyday, drawn to you, drawn to your brilliance, to your odd and pessimistic way of viewing life, to your amazingness. Because that’s what you are, amazing. And the fact that you were considering me a friend made me feel like I was walking on could nine, and with time I started to feel more than friendship. I think I always did."

He looks at her, trying to grasp what she’s feeling, what she’s thinking. He looks down again and continues.

“But never for a moment I thought there was even the possibility that you could have feelings for me as well and like me back. Well, there was this one time but I just made a fool of myself and I never let myself hope again. And then came Jackson, my personal hell”

“It’s your own fault that Jackson and I dated.”

“About that, I didn’t get the chance to explain. He’s like a magician or something, I never intended on giving him advice.”

“But you did it anyway?”

“It was not intentionally.”

“What does that even mean?”

“One day he came to me, giving me money and asking how he could get you to go out with him. I said I wouldn’t do it, but he wouldn’t listen. So I went back to give him the money back and he started talking about you like you were an object. I said that if he wanted to go out with you all he had to do was pay attention to what you liked. And like a bloody fool I started listing the things you did like just to show him that I knew you.”

“Only you, Otis. Scare the competition away by giving them all the ammunition they need.” She chuckles and that gives him a little hope.

"I never meant to hurt you like that, you have to know that.”

“Just like you never meant to hurt me at the party? That’s the thing with you, Otis. You never mean to do anything but you end up doing them anyway.”

“I’ll get there, I promise. Can I continue?”

She just nods and waits for him to resume his story.

“You said it hurt seeing me with Ola everyday. Well, that’s how I felt seeing you with Jackson for month after month. I was tired of pining over you and see the two of you together. And when Ola showed some interest in me I thought ‘well, here’s my chance to finally have a girl that’s into me’. So, I pretended my feelings for you were long gone and convinced myself I loved the girl that did want to kiss me, that did want to be with me.”

By now he was pacing in her little room trying to gather his thoughts and communicate the best he could to make her understand where he was coming from.

“And when you told me you liked me I felt so cheated. I finally had the girl of my dreams telling me she felt the same and I couldn’t do anything about it. You made me feel trapped in my own relationship,"

He lets a long sigh, finally feeling the weight off of his shoulder. He looks at her and finishes. "You made me resent the fact that I was finally happy with someone. That’s why I acted out at the party, that’s why I said those things. But you have to know I didn’t mean any of it. I knew it would hurt you and I wanted to make you hurt the way I did.”

He stands there and waits for her to say something. When she doesn’t, he accepts that this is it and he lost his chance with her.

“So, I just wanted to apologize for that and hope that one day you can forgive me. I really miss being your friend and being around you,” He looks at his watch and points to the door. “My five minutes are up. More like 30 minutes but ok.” He gives her a little wave and starts heading for the door when she calls him back.

“Would you stay for a little while? At least until I fall asleep.”

She’s biting her thumb and looks so vulnerable right now. He hesitates for a few seconds but decides to do it.

“Yeah, sure.”

She starts walking towards the back of the caravan to what he suspects is her room. He follows and finds her tiding the place, throwing clothes inside her wardrobe.

He feels so uncomfortable right now. Does she expect him to lie down with her? What she says next confirms his thoughts.

“You can take your shoes off if that makes you more comfortable.”

He looks at her, then at the bed, then at her again.

“Look, if you don’t want to, that’s fine. You can go.”

“No, I don’t want to go.”

He starts taking his shoes off and then climbing her bed.

“Where do you want me to be?”

“I like to stay on this side,” She says pointing to the left side. He scoops all the way up and lies down facing her on his side. She takes her own shoes off but stops when she realizes she doesn’t have her sleeping clothes on. “I'll go change in the bathroom and will be right back.”

When she returns he’s on his phone replying to his mom telling her he’ll take a little longer. After he’s done he puts it in his pocket and waits for her to lie down.

He expected her to face the other way but is pleased when she lies on her side looking at him.

“Hi.” He says smiling at her. She gives a small smile back but doesn’t say anything. He decides to just wait it out.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you yet, but now I know where you were coming from with all that shit. You have to understand how awful you made me feel. I expected words like that from anyone but you.”

“I know and I am really sorry, Maeve.”

“I was being selfish, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I should have done like you did. Bow down and go find whatever this is somewhere else. I just… I really needed you to know how I felt in case you still felt the same way. And the selfish part in me just wanted you to say you felt the same.”

“I did feel the same. I do feel the same,” He puts her hair behind her ear and touches his forehead with hers. “I felt so proud of you tonight. How come you didn’t feel like celebrating?”

“I turned my mom in today, called the Social Services. She’s using again.”

“Maeve, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“It felt really shitty and like the worst person in the world. What kind of person does that? Turns her own mother in?”

“The kind of person who doesn’t want her little sister to go through the same life she did. You did the right thing, Maeve.”

“Did I?”

He runs his hand through her hair, trying to give her some comfort. She looks so sad right now. The last thing she needs is him putting more weight on her shoulders.

“Of course you did! Can you imagine Elsie having to fend for herself without having a big bother to look after her?”

“I could be the big sister looking after her.”

She has tears in her eyes, resolute on putting the blame on herself.

“You are only 17 years old, Maeve. You shouldn’t have to look out for a kid. She’s your sister but she’s your mom’s responsibility. You are going to uni soon, could you imagine leaving her by herself knowing your mom was back on doing shit?”

“You don’t know that.”

“What?”

“That I’m going to uni.”

“Maeve, I told you. You are the smartest person I know. You are going places.”

“Don't get my hopes up, dickhead.”

“Oh, there’s the Maeve I know and love. I missed your pet names.”

“What did you just say?”

“About the pet names?” Did he say something wrong to her? He really can’t afford it at this point. He’s trying to figure it out when she says, “No, the love part.”

“Well, you heard it before. Haven’t you?”

“When would I have done that?”

Now, she’s the one that looks confused. She received his message, didn’t she?

“I left you a voice message. I came by earlier but you were not here, so I left a message with Isaac telling him to tell you to check your messages.”

“He never told me anything.”

“Fuck! Of course I shouldn’t have trusted him with an important message.”

"Otis?”

“Yeah?”

“I'll deal with that piss flaps later. Care to explain the love part?”

“I left you a message saying how proud of you I was. How I was so focused on doing the right thing that I forgot that the right thing was you. The whole time. It’s always been you, Maeve. I love you!”

“When you say stuff like that you make it really hard to stay mad at you, dickstain.”

“I’m not asking for forgiveness yet, I’m just asking for a second chance to show you how much you mean to me.”

“Oh, fuck. Now I really have to kiss you, don’t I?”

“It’s up to y…”

She was kissing him. She was finally kissing him. He closes his eyes when he realizes he’s staring at her and gets into it as well. It was nothing like he expected and yet, it was everything he hoped for.

The kiss is smooth, with incredible moves from her part. It isn’t rushed, it isn’t fast, but it feels so silky he feels like he can fly. His arms come around her, sliding her against him without any real pressure. She feels really good in his arms and he hopes it's the same for her. The intimacy jolts through him, sending him on a dizzy spin. When a little sound comes from her throat he breaks the kiss, just the slightest bit and smiles at her.

She still has her eyes closed and has a soft smile on her lips.

“It’s the first time a kiss has ever made me feel like an idiot.”

“Well, I hope is not the last.”

“Shut up and kiss me again, dickhead.”

And he does just that. She’s molded to him now, melting every bone of his. Her mouth feels warm, deep and this time the sound comes from him, stunned pleasure humming in his throat. He doesn’t aloud his hand to venture much but he feels her fisting his shirt and changes the angle of the kiss, as if experimenting what works for them.

When he feels his business downstairs waking up he breaks the kiss once again.

“Okay.” He sucks in a breath. “Wow, you are an amazing kisser, Maeve.”

She smiles at him and a sigh escapes her.

“We better go to sleep or I’ll end up doing things I shouldn’t be doing.”

“Such as?”

“Shut up and spoon me, will you?”

“About that… I think I’ll have to wait a little longer.”

“What?… Oh, little dickhead has woken up?” She looks at him smirking. In another time he would have felt embarrassed about it, but he has come to terms that it’s a normal thing and happens to every guy. Sure, some guys have more controle than others over situations like these, but if you have a girl as beautiful as Maeve Wiley in front of you…

“I’ll just lay down for a minute before spooning you.”

“I don’t mind, Otis. Come on!”

And just like that, she turns to face the other side and waits for him to come closer. He gets as close as he finds acceptable to not disturb her and poke her in the back.

He hears her little sigh and goes back to being on cloud nine.

“Night, Otis.”

“Good night, Maeve.”


	2. Can we make it right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they are finally together everything will be fine, right? Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next are kind of messing with my work routine, this bunch of dialogues kept popping out while I was at work or trying to sleep lol 
> 
> Well, this will be a 3 piece because I couldn't get everything out yet. This is the first time I write smut hope I do them justice and they don't seem so ooc. Hope you guys enjoy it.

The sound of a heavy breathing wakes her up the next morning. The sun is peaking through the windows of her room and there’s a sense of peace and safety around her. For a moment her mind is blank and there’s no torment, no screams and no crying. She wonders why she’s not sleeping on the couch instead of her own bed. Her mom and her sister should be here. When the memory hits her the pain comes with it making her gasp.

She takes several deep breaths to calm herself down and notices once again the heavy breathing. Otis…he’s still here and on her bed, peacefully and obliviously in the land of nice dreams. She looks back and notices he has his right arm under his head and the left one on his belly. She ponders for a few seconds and decides to grab his left hand and carefully pull him towards her so he can spoon her once again. He comes, undisturbed, and engulfs her in an embrace.

That right there is all she needs right now to keep the pain away. She puts his arm on her chest, kisses the palm of his hand and her mind goes to another time, with another boy, when the last thing she wanted was his arm around her. It annoyed her actually. But now, it was the opposite and she felt like if she didn’t have Otis close to her, her pain would take over and she would let herself drown again.

She closes her eyes and tries to go back to sleep when he speaks.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” She says without turning her head.

“Don't lie to me, please. You can tell me anything.”

“For a few moments I forgot what a shitty day it was yesterday. I just miss them that’s all.”

“Don’t diminish your pain. It’s all so recent.”

“I'm not. I’m just not in the mood to be controlled by a rollercoaster of feelings.”

“Hey, turn around”

She does as he says and is met by the bluest eyes. She’s mesmerised by them when she realizes he’s approaching to give her a kiss. It’s just a peck on the lips and he has his eyes closed. When he separates from her his eyes are even bluer because of the red colouring his face.

He seems so innocent and it almost amuses her if it wasn’t for the fact that she remembers he’s not so naive, otherwise he wouldn’t have shagged Ruby. She looks at him and blurts the question that had been bothering her for a few weeks now.

“Why Ruby?”

He’s taken aback at first but she sees the startled face turning into a reflection of shame.

“I don’t know.”

“So you don’t bloody know why you lost your virginity to the worst person in that school?”

“I was beyond drunk, Maeve. My actions that night… I was not myself. The last thing I remember is dancing with her, then waking up naked with her in my bed.”

“What the fuck, Otis. You don’t remember your first time?”

“No.”

She can see the shame cropping even further.

“Ruby must be thrilled about that.”

“We talked it out and I think she understood. But I can’t say I don’t regret it.”

“Why is that?”

“Because up until I was 16 I couldn’t even masturbate let alone think that my first time would be with a girl I don’t even care about. Well, I do. But not enough to be my first.”

“Bloody hell, snowflake. Why couldn’t you wank before?”

“That's a story for another time. Right now I would really like to kiss you, if that’s ok.”

“I have to brush my teeth first.”

She’s about to get out of bed when he pulls her right back in. She looks up at him and realizes he’s gauging her reaction to see if that’s ok with her. She chuckles and careces his face to show him that, yes, it is ok.

He leans closer and gives her the most tender kiss she has ever had before. After a few moments the kiss heats up and he shows her a whole new side of him. Confident Otis takes over and now there’s a dizziness joined by the wave of heat that seems to start on her toe and rise up to her nether parts. She’s not sure she should act on it or what but she decides to follow his lead.

Her mind is so blank that she doesn’t even notice him slightly trembling at first. She breaks the kiss, worried that something is wrong.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you are trembling. That’s why!”

He hesitates a little but soon after starts speaking.

“I’m just nervous. That’s all.”

“Why, you’ve done this before haven’t you?”

“Yes, but…”

“But what, Otis.”

“With Ola, we were learning together as we went and with Ruby I was not even in the right state of mind to think or feel anything. But with you…” He lets out a sigh and continues. “You’ve been with guys before, guys like Jackson that know what they are doing and I’m just… afraid of not living up to it.”

She looks at him trying to figure out what to say or how to say it without making him feel inadequate.

“Not all guys know what they are doing, Otis. Even when they have tons of experience. What’s the most important thing is to pay attention, to ask if you don’t know, to be considerate. I assure you if you do that, you will be way ahead of some of the guys I have been with.”

He’s taking what she said into consideration, but there’s something else on his face.

“I heard you once talking to Aimee, telling her how good in bed Jackson was. If we end up together in that way – if you are willing, of course – are you sure you want to decrease your sex life that much”

“What makes you so sure you will be that bad?”

“Ruby said I was ok, but I’m not sure if she said that to make me feel better.”

“Why would she want anyone to feel better? Besides, it’s normal being just ok on the first go.”

“Look, maybe we could ease up into it? Maybe start slowly?

“Whatever makes you feel comfortable, dickhead.”

He smiles, pleased that she’s using his pet name again.

“I’m not comfortable having sex yet, but I am ok with other things.”

She smirks and notices his willingness to try something with her.

“Like what?”

“Lke f…fing-gering?”

“Ok, go ahead.”

“I promise to be in tune with your orange.”

“My what? Is that what you call my pussy?”

“No, just… never mind. May I?”

She gives him her consent and he starts to descend his hands, managing to get it under the elastic band of her sleeping trousers. His hand starts to caress her thigh, lightly, softly, finding odd little points she didn’t know could send jolts through her body. He starts kissing her, experimenting with different angles.

She feels his fingers finding their way under the elastic of her pants and her heart is already pounding. She has never been with a guy that could light so many fires within her without having even touched her clit. She sighs and surrenders to the feelings.

His tongue trails down to the side of her neck sending shivers from head to toe. He finds her flesh and she cries out, arching helplessly, her fingers tugging into the bedclothes for support. She shudders as he finds a rhythm, making a circling motion in the most glorious way. He was so in tune with her it seemed he knew every nerve in her body. She feels his long fingers spreading her juice and the tip of one seeking entrance, slowly, asking for permission.

When she moans he takes that as a yes and inserts it even deeper, hitting her in all the right places. But, he could make it feel even better. She puts her hand up and crooks her index and middle finger moving it in a ‘come here’ motion for him to follow. When he does she feels helpless in the most pleasant way and strangles a cry of release, shuddering over and over again.

She goes limp and feels him retracting his hand, lying by her side.

“Holy fuck, Otis. What was that?”

“That was me in tune with your orange”

She turns her head to look at him, her pulse strong and her breath leaving her in a rapid way. His complexion is red once again and she laughs.

“Well, you just outdid yourself and every other guy I have ever been with.”

He is very much pleased with that, she can tell.

* * *

They are sitting on the sofa in the living room after having that first experience. He is very glad he could provide some pleasure for her and also thankful he tossed the clock technique over the window a while ago. It would have been really embarrassing if he had tried that first on Maeve.

She returned the favor right after he made her reach her crescendo and he came so fast he didn’t really even have time to enjoy her hand on him. He cringes every time he thinks about it. With Ola it would take ages to get him fully erect, but with Maeve all she had to do was breathe next to him.

She is distracted exchanging messages with Aimee and he can see she’s telling her friend what they have been up to. He’s so glad she has Aimee, someone other than him to make her company. If not for her, he would feel even more guilty for spending all of his time with Ola and leaving Maeve out of the picture. He really was a dickhead.

“Are you going to tell her I came under five seconds?”

She laughs and he is so glad he can see her in this carefree way. She’s always so guarded and protective of her feelings.

“No, don’t worry about it. I’m just telling her the important bits so she doesn’t feel left out. She annoyed the hell out of me to confess my feeling for you.”

“And they are?”

“Right now? Annoyance that the sex kid is properly good at fingering.”

“I’m serious!” He says as he trows a pillow in her direction.

He sees her discomfort as she starts looking everywhere but at him. He wonders if she still feels the same as she did the day she told him she liked him. He’s almost sure she doesn’t when she says: “Want some breakfast? There’s not much to eat around here, but I can manage a few things for us to eat.”

“Yeah, sure.”

They eat scrambled eggs while Otis tells her about the play and the surprise outcome at the end. She had no idea Adam had feelings for Eric, as the entire school. Or even Otis for that matter if his best friend hadn’t come out with his feelings for his bully.

“I can’t believe I missed that.”

“It was really something. I’m just glad Eric is finally happy he deserves the world.”

After talking some more they get comfortable on the sofa again and she initiates a kiss. It felt exactly right to be here with her wrapped closely around each other with her arm hooked around his neck and her tongue seeking his tongue.

“Want to try another hand job? Practice makes perfect you know?” She says breaking the kiss.

His eyes are fixed on the movement of her hands as she slowly slides the zipper of his trousers down. She looks at him asking for permission and all he can do is nod. Once she pulls him out her eyes are firmly on his erection and that certainly doesn’t help him keep controle of the situation.

He tries to keep his breathing steady, to either avoid a panic attack or coming too fast, he’s not sure. His mouth goes dry and he stares at her stroking his penis with the tip of her fingers. Shivers, the good kind, cascade across his body as she fully grabs him, her palm working him up and down with just the right amount of pressure and speed.

He feels so good he lets out a groan almost forgetting how to breathe, how to think, how to do anything. He’s sure he will last more this time when he feels the orgasm building and then tearing though his body setting him alight in every way.

“Sorry,” He murmurs, glancing down at the mess he made.

“Don't be.”

He doesn’t think he will ever get the visual out of his head.

He cleans himself up and when he comes back to the main area he sees her pulling out some school stuff. She looks at him and he sees there’s something different with her. Maybe he did come too fast again and she feels he’s not worth trying?

“Look, I have tons of aptitude scheme stuff to do. I have to catch up with all of them if I want to go anywhere after school.”

“Yeah, of course. Can we set something for tomorrow? I’d really like for you to come to my house.”

“Yeah, we’ll see. I’ll text you ok?”

“Yeah, ok. Have a good day, Maeve.”

“You too, muppet.”

She gives him a goodbye kiss, then a soft smile. But he knows there’s something wrong. Disappointment hits him because he thought they’d finally have their chance. What happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? I kept refraining from going too deep with the smut stuff lol


	3. Miley, really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Maeve let go of her fears?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part is here. Sorry it took me so long to update, my mental health took a dive in murky waters and isolation took its toll on me. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Sorry if you find any typos I just went with the inspiration afraid it would leave me again lol

The regret of sending him away comes instantly. The thought of destroying the little they built over the last few hours makes her feel sick and sends shivers down her spine. Has she lost the courage to deal with her feelings? Would she cut any chance they had just because she was scared?

Showing your most vulnerable side to someone is pure hell and when she risked everything admitting her feelings, not being reciprocated at the time made her feel like a fool and insecure all over again. It left scars on her, more so than she already had. Her walls went back up the moment he asked her about her feelings.

But… is she not allowed to have her torn, battered, broken and lonely heart sewn shut and repaired by the only boy she ever felt something real for? Has she not suffered enough to last her a lifetime? Allowed or not, she simply cannot deny the raw feelings she has running through her. It’s terrifying feeling gravity pulling you down and not being sure someone will be there to catch you. She took the first jump and failed, would she fail a second time? 

Her whole life has been dictated by other people’s actions and how little regard they had for her. First her dad checked out, then her mum, then her bother. They all checked out on her, leaving her with nothing but pain.

  
She feels like it’s time to take control over it. Otis had hurt her really bad but he also made her feel on top of the world. She now knows why he acted out and did those things to hurt her, he was hurting too. And she is not justifying it but no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. They are both learning how to deal with their own feelings and wouldn’t it be better if they could be there for one another along the way?

She makes her mind and heads out like there’s a demon on her tail. She runs as fast as she can to reach him and hopes she hasn’t ruined everything before they even had a chance to start. There’s something really special when you set yourself free from your own chains. She knows she has a lot to work on, but this is a first step towards happiness, she can tell. 

She finds him at the top of the hill with his head down and hands in his pocket. He looks defeated.

“Otis!” She calls for him while still running. He doesn’t stop or look around and his head is still down. “Otis, wait up!” This time he does stop and looks confused. “Why didn’t you stop before, dickhead?” She asks reaching him. 

“What? Sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He looks so uncertain of himself and that’s her own fault. If she were in his shoes, she’d look confused and uncertain too. Her whole life she had to act tough in order to survive, to face how harsh the world could be but she is determined to act differently, to allow herself to be vulnerable in front of him but boy is it hard.

“Look, I’m sorry ok.” She is looking everywhere but right at him and she can feel him staring. “I’m still learning how to do this properly, can you forgive me?” 

“What for?” 

“For being cold and distant before you left, you don’t deserve it and I’m sorry.” This time she looks at him and allows him to see everything she works so hard to hide in front of others. It’s right there for him to see: her vulnerability, her fear, her desire to be loved just once. And the wonderful boy that he is, understands what she’s offering him and gives right back. Because that’s who he is and that’s who she fell in love with.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He asks and she nods her head in return. “I'm scared too, you’re not the only one.” 

"What do you have to be scared of?” 

"You’ve been through so much already and I’m afraid I won’t live up to your expectations, that I won’t be able to make you happy the way you deserve to be. Because you do Maeve, you deserve someone that gives you everything.” 

She reaches out to him getting even closer and they touch their foreheads. His right hand caresses her cheek while he speaks. “I promise you that I’ll make everything I can to be that someone to you, but you also have to promise me that you’ll tell me what’s going through your mind, otherwise I won’t be able to help or do anything else.”

She pulls her arms around his waist and lays her head on his chest. “I promise I’ll try my best. Thank you, Otis.” They stay like that for a while just hugging each other. 

On Monday she arrives before him and Eric and it’s waiting for them by the bike racks when they approach. 

“Morning, Maeve” Otis says leaning down to kiss her. Only a peck since she was not a fan of PDA, though there was an urge to kiss him that hit her every time she saw him. Still, she was not going to let that urge controle her.

“Aw look at you, lovebirds. What’s your ship name going to be, Motis? Otaeve? Oh, I know, Miley!” Eric says looking at the both of them expectantly? When neither replies to him, he says “So, which one do you prefer?” 

  
“Am I suppose to actually give an opinion on this”, Maeve says giving Otis a defeated look. She hated this trend of couples’ names but she would make a real effort if Eric really expected her to be excited for this. Otis just laughs and shakes his head looking back at Eric. 

“What does Miley even mean?” 

“Well, Milburn and Wiley, duh! You have to keep up man”, he says while heading towards the school entrance. 

Whilst he still explains the meaning behind every single combination she tunes him out. She looks at Otis’ hand trying to decide if she should hold it or not. If she does, everyone will know that they are together and she can only imagine the kind of nasty rumours they will start spreading about them. Cock Biter and Sex Kid together will give the gossip wire tons to talk about. She’s not ready to drag him down with her so she keeps her hand on her purse, holding it on her shoulder, trying to pretend to be interested in what Eric is saying. 

They reach their lockers and she goes a little further to reach her own and place a few books in it. When Otis appears by her side her he says “Sorry about that, he’s just really happy to see us together.”

“No, it’s really ok. I’m sorry I just had a few things on my mind.”

“Such as?”

“Nothing, I promise” She looks around to see if anyone has noticed them, but not one single look is in their direction. Good, she thinks. People are used to see them talking anyway. She gives him a quick peck again and starts heading for her class. “See you later, dickhead” 

“See you”, he has a goofy grin that makes her feel guilty and she doesn’t know why. 

  
A couple of weeks later she still isn’t sure of herself. Otis, she noticed, was a very touchy feely kind of guy, which made her feel even worse for stepping back every time he put his arm around her, or every time she retracted her hand when she felt him reach for it. Every time he just looked at her with hurt in his eyes but with understanding at the same time. 

In her mind, her reasons for not doing it were all valid. She didn’t want people to start talking about him, she didn’t want people to start spreading rumours about him, she didn’t want him to get hurt. But he was hurting anyway, wasn’t he? 

Last week, when Ruby caught them smiling at each other with their faces close together, soon after people started gossiping about Otis performance in bed, better yet the lack of it. Can you guess who started it? Although he tried to show that he was not affected by it, she could tell that he was. So she avoided it, for him. 

When they were not at school things were great. They would talk about anything, they would laugh about stupid things, they would watch movies with Jean. As long as she lives, she will never forget the first time she sat on that sofa with them. They were having a Sandra Bullock marathon and welcomed her with open arms to become a part fo their tradition. It was a moment she would treasure forever. 

She’s on her knees, cleaning her mouth and chin and looking at a very satisfied Otis. They started experimenting more as their relationship progressed. They haven’t had sex yet and she was ok with that. When she first went to his house he told her his traumas and why he had problems with intimacy. She felt bad for him and promised to pluck his father’s eyes out, and she may or may not have promised to cut his dick off. He was a massive dickhead. 

They also started taking their time to enjoy each other inside the dingy toilets. Hence why she was on her knees and he was putting his dick back inside his jeans. 

“That was really hot” 

You’re telling me? I was the one looking at you while you were doing that. That was incredible, Maeve. And I lasted longer this time, yay me!” He said smiling and making fun of himself. It was a running joke between them by now.

When she was at eye level with him he started caressing her cheek making her feel all gooey inside. 

“Why you never let me do this when we are around people?”

It’s not an accusing tone, she can tell, it’s the hurt again. She’s hurting him again and she also feels like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“I don’t know what are you talking about” 

“It's about you denying any kind of intimacy between us when we are at school. I just want to know why” 

“What was that we just did, huh? Was that not some kid of intimacy? Are we not at school now?” 

“That’s not what I’m saying and you know it” he looks frustrated and ready to have this conversation, but she can’t do this right now. What they have is perfect and if they dig things they will implode. She is not ready to lose him, not yet. “To do that you don’t have to be intimate”, he continues “anyone can do that and not even look back when they’re done”. 

“Bloody hell what do you want me to do then? Do you want me to apologize? Fine, sorry! Is that what you want to hear?”

“Why do you feel like you have to be defensive with me, I’m just trying to talk. I just want you to acknowledge your own feelings” he says leaving the cubicle and heading towards the sinks. 

“I fucking said I liked you, didn’t I?”

“Then how come I don’t feel like you do?” he says in a low voice. “I feel like you are pulling further and further away every time I reach out to touch you. I want more than a little of your love, Maeve”.

She takes a deep breath. She knows he’s right, she really does and it scares her to death to think of him walking away because she can’t take a fucking kiss on the cheek without looking around. 

“I’m scared, ok? Terrified actually” she gets his attention and decides to be brave, for him. “I’m scared that they will fuck with you just because they see you with me. That they will start rumours after rumours and make you feel bad about yourself. I’m scared that I will drag you down and make you the school pariah, just like I am. And I love you too much to let you go through that too.” 

The way he’s looking at her now with so much love in his eyes is the opposite of what she thought his reaction would be. She thought he’d be mad at her for thinking such things, for ruining everything. 

“Do you think I care about them or what they say about me? I never gave much attention to them before and I never believed in a single rumour being spread about you, even before we met. Because they are just that, rumours” he says slowly walking towards her “and the people who spread them are idiots and ignorant, because they ignore the brilliant girl, they ignore the amazing friend and best girlfriend in the world that you are. They feel intimidated by you because they know you are better than them and so do I. So, no matter what they say, they will always be just that… ignorant people” he stops in front of her, filling her with all the love and admiration she knows he has for her. That’s who he is, a giver of all the good things she feels. She just smiles at him, teary eyed and launches herself at him, giving the hugs of all hugs.

When she takes a step back “I love you, Otis. I really do and I’m sorry for being such a dickhead before. I promise to do better from now on” 

She kisses him and he kisses her right back making her feel even more loved. 

“I love you too, Maeve. I’m glad we could talk this out” he offers his hand for her “ come on, our friends are waiting”. She takes his hand, smiling from ear to ear. 

“Do you think Aimee and Eric will finally give up calling us Miley? I mean I love them but if they call us that one more time I swear Otis” 

They leave the toilets to reach their friends and finally, finally be happy with themselves. She can’t wait to find out what their future has in store for them, maybe four chairs filled with love and a big window. 

**The end.**


End file.
